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God’s Good Gift of Marriage & Singleness – 1 Corinthians 7:1-9

As we’ve seen over the past few Sundays, the Corinthian church was messed up in many ways. Remember the divisions among them? Where some were saying I follow Paul and others I follow Apollos? Or the times when they were taking their fellow believers to court, and of course the glaring issues like sexual immorality. There was one guy sleeping with his stepmother, there were people going to prostitutes, and probably other things too. This was the culture of their times and it was heavily influencing their lives. Today’s passage is also about sexual immorality. Now you must be thinking when will this end, every week sexual immorality. Why did you title the sermon series as “The Church: God’s Dwelling Place” and not “Sexual Immorality and You”? What to do people? We’re doing expository preaching and we are subject to the text that is placed before us. Not only that, we’re obliged under God to bring the meaning out of the text as intended by the original author and not give our own meaning to the text. In other words, we have an obligation to expose the text. And after that we appropriately apply it to our lives.

And so we’re here with a passage on sex, marriage and singleness. Three of the most hottest topics in the church and even the world at large.

Unlike the previous weeks where we saw incidents of sexual deviance like incest and fornication, this Sunday’s passage talks about sexual abstinence. Not the right kind of abstinence mind you. Look at verse 1, it says “Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.”

In chapter 7 and the subsequent chapters, Paul is beginning to address 2-3 concerns of the Corinthian church. The first one is here in chapter 7 and what is the concern, or what is the matter of discussion that Paul replies to? “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman”. The Corinthian believers are saying as a statement of truth that it’s better for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman or a woman with a man. Why? Because this belief is a response to the overwhelming nature of sexual temptations that were prevalent in their culture. Sex is used and abused so bad that the response of the believers are an outright rejection of sex. You know that is a good thing but these people were rejecting even sex within marriage. Some commentaries I read also pointed out the cultural understanding at that time, and this is

something that crept into the church, is that marriage was an evil state to be in. They said, if you want to truly be pure, you have to be celibate and have no sexual relations with your spouse. One harmful effect of this was divorce, if being married was evil then it’s better to be separated. But that is not what we have in our passage today. Paul has another harmful effect in mind and that is the power that sexual temptation was given because of this false belief. He says in verse 2 “But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband”. In essence he’s saying, you can try to not have sexual relations with your spouse but it’s foolish to do so because of how strong sexual temptation is. Here people are rejecting the God-given means to give an outlet to the God-given sexual desires and passions.

So you see how the problem started here? The Corinthian believers rejected God’s good gift and it resulted in problems for them. Why am I saying that? The Corinthians are saying it is better not to have sexual relations in marriage because it’s problematic and it makes me unholy. So they rejected the gift of marriage and the enjoyment of sexual relations that is a part of it. Because they were rejecting it, it opened them up to more sexual temptation. 

And I believe this is pointing to some of the proclivities of our hearts. We also tend to reject God’s good gifts and cause problems in our own lives. You know when God says to follow this or do that, it’s ultimately for our good and for His glory. When we reject God’s good gift, it brings sorrow and potentially destruction in our lives.

So I believe what God wants to tell us through this passage is an obvious one, “don’t reject God’s good gift”.

1) Don’t reject God’s good gifts (v1-2 & v6-9)

You know rejecting good things is not restricted to marriage. You can reject so many other gifts that God gives. In this passage it’s talking about sexual intimacy in marriage. And pushing back on sexual intimacy made the Corinthian people vulnerable to sexual tempation. We are not free from that kind of temptation. If you’re married, then sexual intimacy is something you should still pursue, for the sake of fighting against Satan’s evil work and also for the sake of your marriage. Because God ordained sexual intimacy as one of the ways for a husband and wife to bond and grow their relationship. More than that, it’s a picture of God’s steadfast love for His people. One article I read described it this way, “God designed this soul-level intimacy to reflect the deep, intimate, committed, faithful, servant-hearted commitment between Jesus and his bride, the church[1]”. Now it may not be possible to have such kind of intimacy in your marriage because of physical difficulties and I can only imagine how difficult it can be. I hope and pray that you can trust God with your difficulties and believe that He sees and knows your trouble.

As I mentioned earlier, there are many other gifts you can reject. One thing is marriage itself. There are so many who don’t want to get married, who are afraid to make a commitment, who don’t have the courage to take that step of marriage. But marriage is actually a gift from God. I like how one author, the late Tim Keller, put it, “Marriage is a major vehicle for the gospel’s remaking of your heart from the inside out and your life from the ground up[2]”. In other words, marriage is a means for God to shape your heart to be more Christ-like than ever before. But of course, this means finding the right guy or girl to marry. You want your potential spouse to be a believer in Jesus, committed to obeying Him, committed to a local church, committed to pursuing holiness and also ready to sacrifice for the sake of the marriage. I know this is a whole another topic, but one more thing before moving on, your aversion to marriage may be because of a previous bad experience and that’s tough, I must acknowledge that, again I can only imagine how much that’s affected you. But marriage is still a good thing. It’s designed and instituted by God for your good and for His glory. Don’t reject it because of bad experiences in the past. God can turn what the enemy meant for evil to something for your good. And don’t reject it because you don’t see any good examples of marriage around. A few days ago a colleague at work asked how’s married life going. I said it’s good, why will it be bad? And he was surprised that I’m saying it’s good because a lot of the stories he hears and what people say all indicate that marriage is a headache. He even gave the example of his own mom and dad who, according to him, had so many fights. He said he doesn’t want to get married because of this. I told him see even I have fights and arguments with my wife, but because I love my wife and value what we have, I will want to seek reconciliation and say sorry. And he was like oh okay are you reading some book or what. I laughed it off. The point here is a lack of good examples does not mean marriage is bad. Again I want to quote the late Tim Keller here, he says “Do for your spouse what God did for you in Jesus and the rest will follow[2].” Which means if we strive to love and serve our spouse like how Jesus loves and sacrificed for us, then that’s a recipe for a good marriage. Plus, there’s the benefit of having the right context to enjoy sexual intimacy. Verse 9 says if single people can’t control their passions, it’s better to get married. Sex is not the reason to get married but it is the place where you can enjoy physical intimacy.

And lastly, the gift that Paul mentions her in verse 6 and 7, “Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.” When Paul says I wish that all were as I myself am, he is meaning that he wishes everyone was single as he was. He’s basically saying it’s better to be single like he was because it gave him the time and freedom to serve God more. So, if you’re single or widowed, this time is actually a gift from God. Now some of you will be like no need for this gift, please return it, no thank you, doesn’t feel like a gift. Again, I can only imagine what you’re feeling. Yes, I was there a short time till a short time ago, but your experience and struggle is unique. This time is difficult but the best thing to do right now is to wait on God and continue to serve Him. The Christian life doesn’t change after getting married, it just looks different. If you’re unmarried or widowed, you’re still called to obey, you’re still called to pursue obedience, you’re still called to serve, you’re still called to love Him with all your heart, soul and strength. The same continues in marriage. 

Or again, you’re someone who doesn’t want to get married because of fear or bad experiences and you see a verse like this and say, see Paul is saying be like him, single so even I’m going to do that. But he calls it a gift from God in verse 7. Paul says it’s better to be single but he also concedes and subject himself to God’s sovereign will by saying your singleness and marriage is a gift from God. God decides the gift, God is the giver of the gift. If He gave you a particular gift, it’s the best thing for you. If God gave you marriage, that’s the best thing for you. If God gave you singleness, that’s the best thing for you, and maybe for a season only.

Ultimately, Paul is saying that one gift is not superior than the other. One is not good and the other is bad. God is the giver of both, so both are good.

And moving on to the last point, “God’s good gift is meant to serve one another”.

2) God’s good gift is meant to serve one another (v3-5)

Look at verse 3 to 5. ‭”The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. [4] For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. [5] Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

In response to the danger of sexual temptation, Paul is saying that the husband and wife should fulfil their marital obligations to one another, husband to wife and wife to husband. Because neither the husband and wife have authority over their own body but they belong to each other. So, he’s saying that God has give you a gift, use it to serve one another. He’s saying, the wife has sexual needs, the husband will willingly serve her needs. The husband has sexual needs, the wife will willingly serve his needs. Why do such a thing? Because you want to honor the other, you want to serve your spouse, you want to protect him or her from temptation, because that is what Christian life is all about. There’s a verse in ‭Romans 12:10 “Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.”

When I was reading this I couldn’t help but think how Jesus Christ came down in the form of a baby. Did He not live to serve? Did He not come to seek and save the lost? Did He not willingly give up His throne of glory to save sinners like you and me? Jesus’s whole life on earth was a preparation for the great and terrible day when He was to be crucified. All so that your sin and my sin could be paid for and we could be made clean, and restored to a right relationship with Him. After restoring us to a right relationship with Him, He also gives us the power to obey Him, He actually transforms us daily to be more and more like Him. He is our role model and He is the one who supernaturally enables us to be like Him.

And how is this all made available to us? By a simple faith in Jesus, that He is Lord and He cleansed us from all sin. And not just faith but also a turning away from sin and pursuing Him. Many of you dear brothers and sisters are on this journey, you have a put your faith in Him and that is a cause for rejoicing. If you are a believer in Christ, rejoice I say because your names are written in the book of life. You are the apple of His eye, you may not feel like it, but that doesn’t change what’s true. If you’ve never put your faith in Jesus, then today is the day, we don’t know what happens tomorrow. He calls you to come to Him with your sin and lay it at the foot of the cross and seek his forgiveness. 

Because Christ served, you also serve. Use what God has given you to serve one another. Serving can also look like giving your time and resources for the people in this church, giving your money for God’s ministry, discipling others, etc. It could mean finding a way where your job doesn’t consume most of your time freeing you up for things of God. It may mean looking for a job where you will fight for your time. I know this is easier said than done because finding a job is not easy. This applies for both married and unmarried people. If you’re married then you have the additional opportunity to serve your spouse by fulfilling their sexual needs.

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Cleaning up the Church – 1 Corinthians 5:8-13

Good morning church! A warm welcome to everyone who has joined us at the hall in-person and on Zoom. Over the last few months, we’ve been going through this series titled The Church: God’s Dwelling Place from the letter of 1st Corinthians. And what we’ve learnt so far is that God’s residence is not in a building or a religious location but among His people – His redeemed people who have been rescued by Jesus Christ.

And if we are indeed God’s dwelling place, then what’s one of the key trademarks that should identify us? Our Pursuit of Purity! Our longing and growth in purity so that we can look more and more like our Savior Jesus Christ.  

Today we arrive in a passage that is connected to the passage we studied a couple of weeks back. In case some of us missed it that week, I’d encourage us to go back and listen in because we covered quite a bit on the topic of purity which flows into our passage today.

We will recap a few things today as well, but I’d highly recommend that we go back and listen in to that sermon to help us draw clearer connections.

At the end of every Gathering service, we usually share announcements and one of the last announcement slides is the slide on “Clean Up”. We’re requested to keep the hall clean since this is an office space that is being used from Monday through Friday. It’s a request and a call to “Clean up”.

Now the question that the passage today is asking us is this – if the church is no longer a building but the redeemed people of God, then what does “Cleaning up the church” look like? We are not talking about picking up physical trash and litter anymore, we’re talking about cleaning up our lives. The process of cleaning up is called Repentance which means turning away from sin & turning toward God. So we’ll be using the word “Cleaning” & “Repentance” interchangeably today. What does cleaning up the church actually look like?

1. It’s not superficial cleaning (v8)

8 Let us therefore celebrate the festival, not with the old leaven, the leaven of malice and evil, but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth.

Let’s recap the context of this passage. At the time, there was some serious sexual misconduct reported in the Corinthian church. There was an active church member who had physical relations with his stepmother and this was in public knowledge within the church.

Not only was the Corinthian church aware of this, they were okay with it perhaps even defending the sin. And we get indications of this in v2 where Paul calls out their arrogance and in v6 where he calls out their boasting. So we can see here that Paul is not only holding the man who committed sexual immorality responsible, but he’s also holding the church accountable for the way in which they are responding to the sin.

He’s basically telling them “You can’t simply be okay with this. You can’t be tolerating and defending this sin. You need to address and renounce this sin”.

And so in v5, Paul instructs the church to discipline this man by putting him out of the protection and safety of the church. So you can imagine that it’s a very painful situation for the Corinthian church because they’ve gotten to know this man relationally but now because of his persistent unrepentance, they will have to remove him from the church. That’s how we arrive at V8 where we’re told that this “Cleaning & cleansing” can’t be superficial. It can’t be surface level cleaning. How did we arrive at that conclusion? It’s because of the reference to the “festival” – the festival of Unleavened bread.

During the festival of unleavened bread, the people of Israel were commanded to remove every single ounce of leaven from their homes and consume only unleavened bread for a week. This was to help them remember the haste in which God rescued his people from the hands of the Egyptians. And this activity to remove leaven from their homes was not a trivial or optional thing because if there was anyone who ate bread with leaven in during that week, he or she would cut off from the people of Israel. This was a serious command. Anyone with a Jewish background would read V8 & would immediately understand the seriousness of it. This is not superficial cleaning of the house. This is thorough deep cleaning of the house which is required.

And what is the leaven which needs to be removed as believers? Not yeast or baking soda or baking powder. The leaven is “malice and evil” – referring to the intent of our hearts wanting to do what is sinful, conspiring to do what is sinful. Have you and I ever thought of our own

hearts in this way? One filled with malice and evil? The problem is not just the sinful things that we say and do, the problem stems from a heart that is terribly sinful.

The heart is deceitful above all things,

    and desperately sick;

    who can understand it? (Jer 17:9)

The humbling part is to realize that even my 7-month-old daughter has the same heart condition. She’s too small to talk or make sense of the world, but she already has a heart which is wired with malice and evil. Which is why she needs the grace of God in Jesus as so do we – for the thorough deep cleaning activity of our hearts. And so we need grace to help us repent not only of our actions and words, but we need grace to help us repent of what’s there in our hearts as well.

But not only is not superficial cleansing,

2. It’s not external cleaning (v9-10)

9 I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— 10 not at all meaning the sexually immoral of this world, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world.

When Paul starts this verse, he’s referring to an earlier letter written to the Corinthian church which is not part of the Bible. (Paul wrote other letters as well but not all of them were included as part of Scripture). In that letter, Paul told the Corinthians to not associate with the sexually immoral.

In this letter, he felt the need to clarify what he meant by that instruction. Paul is clarifying that the command to not associate with the sexually immoral was in the context of the local church and not with respect to unbelievers in the world because then we would need to go out of this world. In other words, Paul is telling them that they don’t “clean themselves” up by escaping or running away from the world! 

That’s an interesting principle because it means that we are not called to abandon all our interactions with unbelievers. We are not called to unfriend or unfollow our unbeliever friends and family. We are not called to become a monk and isolate ourselves from the world.

We are called to be present in the middle of a broken world but not conformed by it. We are called to be in the world but not of it. Isn’t it interesting that in Jesus’ high priestly prayer in John 17:15, He doesn’t pray for us to be removed from the world:

15 I do not ask that you take them out of the world, but that you keep them from the evil one.

Jesus’ prayer echoed the same thing – not to abandon or avoid the world but to be in the world and yet protected from the influence of Satan and the world. Isn’t it encouraging to know that’s the prayer Jesus prayed for you and me?

The other reason why we need to be in the world is to provide them with an opportunity to hear the Gospel and visually see what a changed life in Jesus looks like.

14 How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard?[a] And how are they to hear without someone preaching? Romans 10:14

An unbelieving world would be denied an opportunity to hear and respond to the Gospel if all believers everywhere decided to isolate themselves.

But just a word of caution – although we’re called to not abandon our interactions with unbelievers in the world, we need to be discerning to not put ourselves in positions where we may be tempted to go away from the Lord.

If we’re aware of situations and conversations with unbelievers which can put us in positions where we’ve have struggled in the past and are vulnerable, it would be wiser & better to avoid those situations for the sake of our faith.

We’re not being unloving to our friends by avoiding those gatherings but rather it’s the right thing to do out of our reverence and love to God (and that takes precedence over everything else).

In fact, what it might require us is to have an honest conversation with our unbelieving friends letting them know that we really value the friendship with them but as a result of our relationship with Jesus, we wouldn’t be able to participate in certain settings and situations as we once did. And who knows – God might use that as an opportunity to

witness to our unbelieving friends because they’ll be interested to know what brought about such a radical change in our lives so much so that we’re willing to give up on the things that we once enjoyed.

So it’s not superficial cleaning, neither is it external cleaning,

3. It is internal cleaning (v11-13)

11 But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler—not even to eat with such a one. 12 For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church[b] whom you are to judge? 13 God judges[c] those outside. “Purge the evil person from among you.”

It’s a call to perform internal cleaning within the church. In V11, Paul clarifies that the instruction to not associate with someone is in the context of the local church. He’s saying that “anyone who bears the name of the brother” – in other words he professes to be a believer, he claims to be a believer or has labelled himself as a follower of Christ AND if that person “is guilty of sexual immorality or greed or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard or swindler” – then we should disassociate ourselves from him and at the end of V11 “not even eat with him”.  

I know this seems quite harsh or extreme but let’s understand the context to this instruction. This instruction is concerning the person who committed sexual misconduct in the church and is continuing in persistent unrepentance.

It isn’t as though the man was ignorant or unaware of the gravity of his sin, he was quite aware and was still continuing in blatant defiance. And it’s only after exhausting all attempts of calling & persuading the man to repentance is when they arrived at the unfortunate extreme decision to excommunicate him.

Because what was at stake was what it was going to do to the rest of the church and also the church’s witness to a lost world. If the church continued tolerating and turning a blind eye to the sin, it would have caused other believers to wrongly assume that God doesn’t really have a high standard for purity and it’s okay for them to remain in sin and unrepentance. Purity is an occasional good to have, but blatant sinning is the norm.

Think about what they would have been communicating to the outside world? They would be communicating a message that they were just like the rest of the world with no motivation or desire to grow in purity. So excommunicating the man who did this wasn’t a random decision taken in the spur of the moment, it was something that was long drawn, painful and arrived after many attempts to persuade.

So there was a specific case in the church which was being addressed here but just before we pat ourselves in the back thinking that we’re not guilty of extreme sins like the one that is described in this chapter, I want us to take a look at the sins mentioned in V11, we can find a lot of culturally acceptable sins.

  • Sexually immoral – God’s boundaries are too restrictive, all I want is to find a way to satisfy my desire right now
  • Greed – I just have an insatiable desire for more gain and to accumulate more
  • Idolater – I find my security and blessing in someone or something else apart from God
  • Reviler – Since these people don’t meet my expectations and don’t do as I say, I’m going to tear them down
  • Drunkard – I just want to let loose and lose control of myself over alcohol
  • Swindler / extortioner – I’ll use force or threats to get what I want from them

What we realize is that this list is not talking about some extreme perverse individual on the other side of the globe, this is actually hitting quite close to home. If we’re being brutally honest, all of us would admit to struggling with some of these sins even right now in this season.

Does that mean that church needs to disassociate themselves from us? Am I going to be an outcast? I’m not even saying this to say add guilt and shame upon us, but to actually point us to the cross of Christ where we see how Jesus faced the weight of abandonment when our sins were placed upon Him.

‭2 Corinthians 5:21 ESV‬

[21] For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

And because Jesus faced that for us, we don’t have to ever face that from the Father. We only have to face the acceptance and delight of the Father. And because that’s God’s inclination toward us, we know we can repent and turn back and that’s what we are called to do today.