How do I know he is the guy whom I need to marry?

Let’s start by talking a bit about what Scripture tells us what marriage actually means.

Ephesians 5:31–33
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”  This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

God’s Word tells us first that when a man and a woman marry each other they become one flesh. The implications of this are significant. We longer live for our selves but for the other person. We walk through life with this person in humility and with a heart that puts their needs before ours, we do this mutually.

Marriage is nothing short of a profound mystery because of what it actually means. Marriage is a picture of Jesus Christ’s love for his bride…the church. This might sound a bit strange that Jesus has a bride, and it may sound even stranger to find out it’s called the church.

The church is simply the people of God, whom Jesus has died for and saved, and who have committed their lives to him. Listen to the first part of that last sentence carefully…Jesus died for the church. Now that is ultimate humility and sacrifice.

As the church, we gladly love and serve our Lord Jesus because of his willing sacrifice for us that joins us back to the Father who created us to glorify him in all that we do. So that’s the picture we have. The groom, Jesus sacrificing for his bride, the church. A beautiful picture of sacrifice and loving submission.

Ephesians 5:25–28
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

Now to your answer. How do you know who to marry? With all this background let me ask you a question. Is this man someone who will lovingly, sacrificially, humbly, walk with you for the rest of your life, putting your needs before his? Because Scripture tells us he is to love you as Jesus loves the church.

I’m not saying he has to be perfect, because that’s not possible. But when he fails, and he will, does he exhibit the humility to ask for your forgiveness and forgiveness of God? This kind of man, Susan, is a man you can love and grow old with.


FaithQuest is a safe place for you to ask any question you have about God, Faith & Life in general.



  1. They guys your answers so apt.

    I am so happy to see people asking questions.

    I guys rock.


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