I’m 19 and I want to get into a relationship

There is certainly no formula for finding the right person to marry. The fact that godly, long-lasting marriages have diverse and varied beginnings shows us that pointing people to look for their spouse in certain locations or during certain ages or within particular circumstances is bound to be frustrating advice for a large percentage of people.

There are however some principles from scripture that we can use to identify a healthy marriage. Therefore, I believe aiming to be a man who would become a godly husband in a healthy, nurturing marriage would certainly be much better advice. That aim would be to emulate Christ’s selfless, sacrificial relationship with His bride, the church (Eph 5:25).

This would turn your attention from trying to find a wife to improving yourself regardless of when, where, or how (or even if!) you meet the girl of your life.

Some things to work on immediately:

Be pure… to lust even in the mind is adulatory. Start phasing out anything that’s causing you to sin in this area.

Start serving others selflessly… you need all the practice you can get. Jesus himself came “to serve and not to be served”.

Give your family quality time… a husband needs to have strong and healthy family ties.

Work hard… a husband provides for and loves his family by doing a good job in everything he does.

Anchored yourself in faith…all a husband has to offer of value to his wife, kids, and family is based off his faith and connect to a purpose-filled life in Christ. If you aren’t already then I’d encourage you to read the Bible everyday and to start conforming your thoughts, words, actions to what it teaches.

If and when God brings that particular girl into your life you will be able to offer her yourself as a man who she can trust to truly live out Ephesians 5:25 “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her”


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